Concept: an urban bird, such a free creature but trapped in the confines of a dirty city, like it should be able to fly anywhere, and it knew it could, but day after day, it kept waking up in the same smelly piles of trash left out on the street with angry road-ragers and big fat roaches. Then, one day it woke up, and realized it already had everything it needed and the only real thing holding itself back was itself. Ssssoooo...she took her wings and off she went to FLY. Also, I was shocked to have met Fernandoz Paz who brought this vision to life so perfectly on his NY roof top within 24 hours of conceiving this idea...he added so much to this shoot with his artistry. Thanks for being a G Paz!
THERE'S ALWAYS ANOTHER WAY ;)
John Higgins ft CyberYoga
Sometimes I see people banging their heads against the same wall over and over again expecting different results (yes, I do this, too). Friendly reminder that there's always another way. All you have to do is know it's there, go explore, and put effort into discovering it. You will find it.
America has this weird thing with the human body being dirty and immediately a sex symbol. In Europe, the overarching view seems to be that of the body as art. I dig it. Here's some art. I wanna experiment with more of this (yes, still with myself as the photographer), because I really like when you can't tell which body part is which, and it just looks like a bunch of funky contours, like the second pic. I would also be down to take photos of other peoples' bodies. Anyways, to be continued...also, the last pic is by my friend Donna!
BAD TO THE BONE
This was shot the day after Trump got elected. I was pretty sure our country would be better off as an anarchy. I'm still eagerly awaiting his impeachment. Also, I fucking miss the grit of NYC.
YOU GOTTA LET GO
Ouch. It hurts...really fucking bad. It gets me every time I have to let go of people I love: maybe people I never got to say bye to, or people I thought I knew, but they turned into someone else, or people who I love more than anything ever but I know our paths can't collide at that specific moment, or people that I want more than anything to stay, but I know it's no good for me, so I have to completely isolate myself from them and then end up thinking about them, doing these crazy poses wishing they would walk into the room and I could fall into their arms, but I know that I don't actually want that cuz I would just be falling back into an old pattern... even though the thought of them recycles through my head over and over like a broken record or this run on sentence, and I wish I could just pretend like they never existed, BUT I don't actually wish that either, because I know they were put in my life to teach me a lesson, and that until I learn and accept that lesson, it will keep repeating itself. So, here's to learning even when it SUCKS and hurts, cuz the universe is always working toward your greater good even when you can't see it. And here's to using run on sentences to get a point across.
GLASSES N HATS SAVE THE DAY
For Feels Media
Haven't slept for 3 days? Feel like balling your face off ? Don't want to see someone you know? Glasses n hats save the day. I came up with this phrase when a close friend of mine committed suicide. I was living in NY at the time, and couldn't go anywhere looking like I had my shit together, and in NY you can't avoid being around people, ssssooo the old glasses and hat trick was a game changer. It's kinda weird to have to feel like you need to hide your emotions. I'm usually not an advocate of this at all but more so of taking needed time to process emotions . However, I do believe there is a point when you have to move on (not undermining anyone's traumas at all; everyones different and has a different approach and sometimes it's a super slow process). Anyways, for me, this moving on sometimes takes an initial uncomfortable push to put it all behind and not forget it, but to simply accept it and continue being a part of the world. Wallowing for TOO long can make me feel worst and even self-centered about major life events like this, so this going out--despite fully covering my face and feeling a mess--was a baby step in attempting to get outside of my head and back into the world.
POUR SOME SUGAR ON ME
Bad Habit Studio
Be nice. You never know what someone else is going through. Period.
SHOW ME YOUR SOUL
I've been living in LA for a little bit now. I like it more and more every month. But one thing that weirds me out is it seems to be filled with a lot of people constantly feeling like they need to change their appearance with boob jobs, lip injections, face lifts, and a myriad of other things. And LA is definitely not the only place where this happens, but I've visibly noticed it here more than anywhere else. I can't help but think where we would be as people if our physical appearance was a blur and what we really saw was how each others' souls looked. I know I'm not the first to say this and it's not some genius epiphany, but I still like the thought of it, and I actually try to do this often.
Self love. Tell these girls they don't need men to feel like women.
MY SEXY FACE
Over the years, I've learned society's definition of sexy, and I enjoy embodying it sometimes, as a dancer who likes to explore various ways of moving, and also a human who likes to relate to other people on multiple levels. But this is the version of sexy I was raised on, and when I see it in other people, it's so much more attractive to me then the main stream definition of the word. My sexy face(s): being outrageous, knowing your worth, being powerful, constantly exploring, being authentic, and being introspective all at the same time.
IT'S NOT THAT I'M REBELLING. I'M JUST TRYING TO FIND ANOTHER WAY.
Bad Habit Studios
Just got sick of listening to people tell me what to do when I had this voice inside myself telling me what I needed to do. More and more, I feel like there is no "right" or "wrong" way to do something, it's relative to each person, each situation. It should be human nature to find your own way and not listen verbatim what someone tells you. Also, I'm an Aquarius, sssooooo...
SHIFT YOUR PERSPECTIVE, CHANGE YOUR PERCEPTION
This woman named Jenny Funkmeyer (who I also call my fairy godmother cuz she woke my mind up from some negative thinking patterns at the time), taught me an exercise where you imagine yourself stepping outside of your body and examining the situation you're in and seeing it from a birds eye view (i.e. taking a freeze frame from an unpleasant moment you have a memory of and seeing the environment that you're in, the people you're surrounding yourself with, and even little things like your posture, eye contact, clothes, tone of voice), and then seeing how these things are effecting your current situation. I was surprised to see how I was shaping specific situations to my own detriment based on all these little choices I was unconsciously making, and how I could get myself out of these situations if I just saw them from a different perspective and made more decisions from this bird's eye perspective instead of from the ego-consciousness part of my mind.
I truly believe that everyone can generate the momentum they individually need to get to where they want/need to be when they give themselves the time and will power to connect strongly to their own voice. Okay, okay...sometimes easier said than done given everyone's extremely different life circumstances, but giving other people the power to make important decisions for you/"heal" you/save you/tell you exactly how to do things, whatever it may be, is the biggest contradiction everrrrr cuz it's basically saying you are not worthy of having control over your own life. I'm not saying humans don't need each other for moral support, and mere connection, and general well being, cuz I for sure believe this is one of the most important things in life! I'm not saying that mentors and people to help guide and advise aren't beneficial. I think these types of relationships are extremely helpful! But reminding yourself that you have the final say in decisions and trusting that you will make the best decisions for yourself is key to living a life walking in purpose. Don't give your power away to other people or things to tell you things you already know. Remind yourself you have everything you need and tap in.
Alexandar Bitar/ Colin Jacob
When everything you once loved can no longer make you happy, you realize that it's an illusion that material things and people will ever bring you real happiness. Your only sense of true happiness is within yourself. You have to be the one to choose happiness and find ways to make it happen. I moved apartments 6 times in 8 months and became a minimalist during this time, because nothing felt right, and I didn't want to be afraid of new beginnings. I wanted to be okay with being alone and cutting out all the excess, so that all that was left was the bare necessities. Side note: I am not a minimalist anymore and notice that I've started to acquire more unnecessary things. Every now and then, I clean out, and ask if an item brings me happiness. If not, I give it away, which does bring me happiness--I know how Marie Kondo of me. Anyways, this seems to be an ongoing process of constantly shedding, and I think it will continue to go on for some time. Also, I don't want to overrule the fact that you can choose to be happy right where you are without moving a billion times. Let's just call this specific situation I did an experiment in living.
Just exploring shapes, light, and shadows. Also, my friend Bryan took these photos. This is when he was mostly doing photography, but had started as an actor. I love artists who are down to explore in all mediums, and don't force themselves to fit in one box. Art is all about perspective to me, and you can share pieces of your perspective and experience through any medium. I remember having a couple talks with Bryan about trying to "figure it out" as artists, and last year his career really took off with acting. I'm sharing this cuz I love how this story shows how the life of an artist can literally change in the blink of an eye and sometimes its not about figuring it out but just being. Stay creative, stay authentic, stay curious, keep exploring, keep making things. DO YOUR THING!!!!
Guess what?! I also took photos of a lot of other people during this time!!! But I'm really tired of psycho-analyzing things right now and wanna dance before the night is over, so I'm just gonna throw the link down here if you wanna check out the images and also some videos, which turned out supa FIRE! ENJOY :)
OR for the same thing but more professional than Intsagram I suppose, go to https://www.forfeels.com/gallery